All Who Are Weary
Laura is a wife and mother of 3 sweet girls. She works as a Recovery Coach, providing support to those impacted by addiction. She loves coffee, reading, writing, and being at home.
Secure your oxygen mask first; this is what I’m always telling my patients – you can’t help anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself. And yet, here I am on medical leave after neglecting myself for far longer than I care to admit. Trying to be the best mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and employee left me empty and unable to show up for anyone, including myself.
I’ve been a helper all my life. It’s who I am at my core. I pride myself on my ability to build relationships, remember important details, love others well. It’s no surprise that I ended up in a career where I help others daily. It’s truly a joy and honor for me to be invited into the lives of others, to know their hurts and fears and dreams and desires, and to meet them right where they are.
The problem is that in my desire to help, I forgot about myself. I’d run through the list of my family’s needs and wouldn’t even consider my own needs. When there weren’t enough hours in the day, I’d take away the one thing I was going to do for myself – yoga, shower, journal, devotions. Though I was unable to say I couldn’t keep going on this way, my body was letting me know. I was having the worst flare-up of my autoimmune disease to date, and still, I kept telling everyone, including myself, that I was okay.
Then something forced me to pause. My therapist suggested I take a medical leave, to which I responded: “A medical leave? Me? NO WAY!” She went on to say that either I would choose for myself or the choice would be made for me. Wow, I had never thought of it that way – in my mind, the options were to take a leave or tough it out and keep doing what I was doing. As I started seriously pondering a medical leave, all of my insecurities quickly rose to the surface – People will think less of me; I’ll look weak; Everyone will be disappointed; I’m worthless if I’m not helping others. Then I asked myself what I would tell my patients or my loved ones if they needed to take a leave. And guess what? I would say to them, you can’t help anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself. So with that, I chose to take time to care for myself intentionally.
I’m learning through this humbling experience that we can’t do it all, and we can’t do it alone. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness but a sign of maturity. Inviting others into our struggles can strengthen our connections. When we admit our powerlessness, God meets us right where we are at, and His power is made perfect in that place of surrender. Resting in this truth creates space for the exhales, for the reset, and for the relationship with the Creator who can sustain us.
“Come to me all who are weary. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” (Matthew 11: 28-30, MSG)
