How to Make Your Marriage a Priority

Life is distracting. Work, children, and the world’s demands leave our schedules full and the word “busy” at the top of our vocabulary. If we don’t watch it, our marriages can slowly move down the priority list, and date nights become muted conversations while scrolling through phones. Making your husband and your marriage a priority takes time, effort, and attention. But here’s the thing, what you reap is what you sow. If you want not just a good but a great marriage, you have to make it a priority. You can strive to protect and make your marriage a priority by implementing new relationship practices into your life. 

Join a community of married people. 

Join a Bible study or a small group of married couples and dive deeper into life and the Word of God. The facilitated topics will help you develop conversations beyond the everyday chatter and will allow you to deepen your relationship with one another. 

Read books about marriage. 

Be a learner of marriage. Like books on parenting, you can find a book related to any topic in marriage. However, be cautious about grabbing a book about marriage from a non-Christian perspective. It may have great advice, but it will miss the most significant factor in making marriage work – God. If you aren’t a big reader, there are plenty of audio resources that can help you continue to learn. Check out this Faith Inspired Podcast episode about How to Make Your Marriage Work and Be The Exception. 

Go to counseling. 

Counseling is for every marriage. No matter the stage or issues, every marriage could benefit from Christian marriage counseling. It’s a great way to get the tough conversations going with structure and purpose and gives you the space to face pesky annoyances head-on. 

Ask questions. 

You can’t get enough of your husband when you first start dating. You want to know every detail of his life, what he envisions for a future, and how you fit into it. Once you’re in his future and living the day-to-day, you can forget to inquire about his hopes and dreams. Get back to dating your husband and ask him about his greatest dreams. What would be his ultimate vacation, his dream job, or what does his picture-perfect life look like? Let your husband do the talking and get lost in the excitement of what may come.  

Understand your husband’s love language.

God built each of us with particular ways to feel appreciated and loved. If your husband feels loved and honored by words of affirmation, but you only buy gifts to show him how you feel, he may miss the message and feel disrespected. By understanding his love language, you can show up in ways that speak directly to his heart, and he can do the same for you. 

Write out all your husband’s unique qualities. 

You married your husband for his many excellent qualities, but remembering them may not always be easy. Ask God to show you what He loves about your husband and give you eyes to see your husband’s unique qualities. Notice the little things he does right over the things he does wrong and write them down. Slowly you will grow to admire your husband in a new way and spark new desires for him. 

Trust God’s plans are better than yours. 

Marriage is a three-way street. There’s your husband, you, and God. And ultimately, God is in control. If there are areas of your marriage where it doesn’t seem that you can make it work or that pain you to the core, pray about it. Give it to the Lord, and trust that He knows the path and that His plans are always better than yours. 

So, how do you implement even one of these practices with all your life demands? You make room. You adjust the priorities in your life and make your marriage one of them. Remove a role or responsibility already on your “priority” list and add a marriage life-giving one. Don’t think it’s possible? Ask yourself, “10 years from now, which priority will I be happy I kept, and what will my life be like if I don’t?” The picture will become apparent, and it’s incredible how the priorities you had placed above your marriage end up not mattering anyway. Start today by implementing one practice and see how it changes your marriage and heart.