5 Tips for Single Moms to Thrive During COVID-19
Jessica has been a single mom for almost two years and has truly been enjoying freedom and personal growth. She a passion for the arts-especially dancing. She loves seeing the gold in others and helping them pursue healing, hope and wholeness.
Being a single mom has its challenges. You are doing the job of two people, but in reality, it feels like 500. I’m a single mom in the thick of the teenage years with four amazing daughters ages 6, 13, 15 and 17.
I will be honest with you. I have moments and even days of not thriving and falling apart. 2020 has been no exception. It’s been a year of upheaval for all of us. A tearing down and rebuilding of life as we know it.
As I write this, I am empty. My kids are currently full-time distance learning. We are together almost 24/7. Many businesses are closed or drive-thru only. At this moment, my mind is spinning. I’m sure I’ve yelled out “Jesus” as a one-word prayer for help 20 times today. Send grace, please.
Through tearing down and rebuilding life, I have found that there are empowering and inspiring things all around us and in us. I have found tricks that have helped me thrive and not just survive. These tricks aim to replace destructive habits with positive ones. One step at a time. One day at a time. They have helped me love myself well so that I can love my kids well. Empty buckets can’t fill empty buckets. They’ve allowed me to rethink and continually throw out what isn’t working and replace things in my life that will not only work better but empower me and fill my cup.
I am sharing my top five tips with you in hopes that they can help you, too. As you read through these, I encourage you to get out your journal and a pen and start taking notes on goals, changes and new habits you want to go after to love yourself better.
1. BE YOUR BEST FRIEND
Work through any lies your inner voice tells you and invite the Holy Spirit to show you the truth. Have you been able to embrace all of you? The good and the awkward? Do you give yourself grace? I love lists and encourage you to write out all the great qualities you love about yourself. Then write down the qualities that you would like to grow in. Take a moment to accept all of it. These are your colors. Your stamp in the world. The one and original you. You can be your safe space. You can honor and respect yourself when others do not. You can see and know yourself when others cannot. What is standing in your way of being your own best friend? What are you afraid of? Make a list of what makes you an incredible friend, and start being that kind of friend to yourself first. Spend time alone with God, thanking Him for who He has made you to be.
2. JOIN AN ONLINE GROUP
Maybe you are already in a small group through your church, but if not, I encourage you to join an online group through a church or another organization. Being a part of a community where you have a common interest does wonders for your emotional well-being. I meet with a group of seven women from all over the world every Wednesday night. The group helps me feel connected, supported, heard, and encouraged right from the comfort of my home. The best part about my involvement with the group is that it has a leader and is consistent, two things I need most in this crazy season of life.
3. EDUCATE YOURSELF
I am amazed at all of the free online classes offered on Instagram and Facebook. If you run across an ad for a free challenge or summit, I encourage you to take a look and see if it is a right fit for you. The library is also a free resource for education that we often forget about these days. I have been taking advantage of the library and reading as often as possible. It’s because of this that I am seriously considering going back to school. Is there an interest that you haven’t had time for before, like learning Spanish, how to sew, or how to change the oil in your car? Go for it!
4. BE MORE HEALTH CONSCIOUS
During the pandemic, I started a 90-day challenge and went off gluten, dairy and sugar. I also built up a workout routine. All of it was gradual and I slowly grew in my awareness and health habits. I felt better and had more energy as time went on. My outlook on life improved dramatically. Have you been stuck feeling bad about your health choices? Start with just one goal. Focus on only one habit to change. Once you change that one habit, add another one. Soon you will see a snowball effect. Keeping a health journal of what you eat, how you move your body and how you feel will help you recognize the patterns in your habits and you can adjust accordingly. Remember to love yourself through the process. Your only goal is to be better than you were yesterday.
5. PRACTICE GRATITUDE
You may be hearing this a lot lately, but gratitude truly does shift your attitude. Complaining is an energy thief and as single moms, we don’t have any more energy to give. I challenged myself to start my mornings without my phone by thinking of three things I am thankful for. When heading to bed, I try listing the happiest parts of my day and what I am most grateful for. This mental shift has helped me provide strength when I desperately needed it.
I believe in the joy, peace, strength and life that God gives us in abundance. It isn’t easy to rise above challenging circumstances, but you have the power to make healthy choices. It’s never too late to make a shift in your mindset. If you don’t know where to start, Jesus is right there to guide you. Put your hope in the firm, faithful and loving arms of Jesus to help you go beyond what your human mama heart allows.
Jesus, please help us to experience your peace and joy amid busyness, stress, and pain. Help us to make healthy choices that will lead us towards the fullness of life. Deliver us from thought patterns and attitudes that are not serving us. Give us hope and strength to not only survive but thrive. We love you. Amen.
